55 Grammar Offenses That Make Teachers Go Mad

Grammar errors are inevitable, of course. This article sports at least a few. No written work will ever boast a pure linguistic track record, but that doesn’t mean students shouldn’t try their best to pump out the most clear, concise papers possible. Plenty more than these 55 exist — there are, after all, as many grammatical errors as writers committing them. But the following do seem to crop up most frequently in academic pieces, sending some of the more high-strung professors out there into a nasty little series of eye-twitches.

1. Inappropriate apostrophes

   A grammar error so common, at least two blogs dedicate themselves to chronicling public displays of wanton apostrophe mishandling.
   

2. Inappropriate quotation marks

   Like a double apostrophe, quotation marks receive almost a disproportionate amount of superfluous use — probably exhausted from appearing in all the wrong places.
   

3. Inappropriate commas

   While poor, poor extraneous commas don’t really have a blog out there chronicling their plight, that still doesn’t diminish how irritating — even jarring — it can get to see, them, in, all, the, wrong, places.
   

4. Missing apostrophes, quotation marks and/or commas

   Just as egregious a grammatical offense as over- or misusing them, waylaying punctuation marks for reasons other than postmodern experimentation with traditional writing conventions drives educators batty. Even postmodern experimentation with traditional writing conventions grows trite after the 9,384,563,756,347,564th student decides he wants to be Cormac McCarthy.
   

5. Tense disagreement

   Before turning in that term paper, do make sure that every verb tense agrees with one another. Otherwise, one ends up creating an exceptionally awkward reading experience.
   

6. Too many prepositions in one sentence

   Too many prepositions may not possess quite the same grammatical threat level as some of the others listed here, but try reading one such offending sentence out loud. It’s more than a mite eye-twitchingly painful maneuvering through so many "to"s and "in"s and "for"s.
   

7. They’re/their/there

   Ah, heterographs. Bane of every English teacher’s existence. If the difference between "they’re," "their" and "there" elicits a right fair amount of confusion, just study it until everything starts making sense.
   

8. Its/it’s

   "It’s" is the contraction of "it is," while "its" denotes a possessive. Commit that to memory and make a favorite teacher’s job just that much easier.
   

9. To/Too

   The preposition "to" denotes direction and destination, whereas "too" is a synonym of "also," "as well" and "in addition." Interestingly enough, "two" rarely ends up in place of its homophonic brethren.
   

10. Who/Whom

    Just kidding. A startling amount of English teachers can’t even properly articulate when to use what, but good luck getting them to admit it.
    

11. "Alot"

    Despite not being an actual word, "alot" certainly sees a staggering amount of usage both on the Internet and in the classroom. More of a spelling error forcing "a" and "lot" into an unholy portmanteau than a grammar offense, it nevertheless elicits more than a few eyetwitches.
    

12. Improper use of the semicolon

    Matthew Inman explains how to properly wield this precious piece of punctuation better than anyone ever. If party gorillas, knuckle shampoo and bear combat training can’t drive the point home, nothing will.
    

13. Teach/learn

    Some students still struggle with reversing "teach" and "learn" with one another, though instances seem to be steadily decreasing.
    

14. Could of/would of/should of

    "Have," ladies and gentlemen. Just replace the useless "of" with "have" and teach won’t end up busting a blood vessel or five. Since "of" isn’t exactly a verb, one can’t exactly "could of," "would of" or "should of" a noun.
    

15. Effect/affect

    Admittedly, even gung-ho grammarians out there sometimes trip up when it comes to distinguishing "effect" and "affect." Give this handy guide a listen or read and keep its advice in mind when crunching through that important essay question.
    

16. Failure to capitalize proper nouns

    Just because nobody generally cares about lackadaisical capitalization over instant and text messages doesn’t mean educators will accept conditioning as a legitimate excuse.Continued