Saturday, 18 June 2016

The only functional gift worth bringing to a baby shower


Winnie Mabel Yesterday 13643
Ladies, if your guests do not show up at your baby shower with this gift, please feel free to throw an emotional tantrum?
You have followed society’s perception that as a woman who is getting education, you will first get a job, get married and then have babies.
So you have toiled the four years in campus to bring home the bachelor of something degree from campus, without the baby daddy and infant on the side.
You land the job you did not major in but you are still bright eyed that you got a foot in on the employment floor. And it is here that you meet the father of your future children.
You think of popping out three, maybe twins? You can’t wait for the unconditional love, they smile that brightens up the room when the baby sees you, and all the other stuff made of dreams for family.
Fast forward to a year later and you are cuddling your three month toddler.
It is time for you to introduce him to the world since you re getting bored with the maternity leave.
Plus some adult conversation would put your mind off the diaper problems you’ve been having with your son.
You just don’t understand how a diaper that fits him keeps leaking onto his clothes. The backs of his colored t-shirts are turning yellow and so are the bottoms of his pants and stockings.
You know his size, you always send your husband out for them without having to explain what is needed to him.
You don’t have time to figure this out. Keep washing hard and plan the baby shower. Keep washing. Keep planning.
Three weeks later, you have it figured out. You forgot to change the size of his diapers. It did not matter that it fit him perfectly, there was no space left between his bum and the diaper padding for the waste to collect.
All there was was a thin space that made the waste spread and leak. Sleep depravity and being tired has you forgetting basic child care tips. But no one guided you when he was still in the womb!
But one night, during the second kilometer of walking around pacifying the baby to sleep, you saw that advert that would fix everything. That would allow you the space to breathe and maybe put on some make up, or pretty clothes, or even just peace of mind.
Baba toto is however one of those practical guys. He will only buy something once he sees an empty pack of the finished product.
He gets you the first pack and being a new mom becomes easier. Who said you needed a nanny? Forget that aunt in law with her unwarranted baby care advise.
But you need more product. You need to stock pile it like you are about to open up a supermarket. Its the only way you can keep your sanity.
And you chose your targets, the baby shower invitees. They owe you after all, for looking glamorous around you while you were sweaty, sticky and worn out during your third trimester.
So you start dropping hints on social media.
Facebook: #Cleanlinessgoals…loving this product. Makes being a new mom so simple. Got time to get glammed up ladies
WhatsApp group: Y’all, see how cute my munchkin is these pics. Can’t wait for u guys to meet him. Don’t you just love his clothers? All thanks to >>>(photo)
Twitter: @MichelleObama @MargaretKenyatta Have you tried this? Epic discovery! Forget all the others… #Cleanlinessisnextogodliness
Fast forward to baby shower…
Ladies troop in to your home, gifts in hand and you can’t wait to set your eyes on each of them…
Bless their hearts these sweet ladies, they brought it…no more bending over buckets for hours, no more negotitating with your terrorist of a husband to sit with his son while you worked, no more one hour naps with an awake baby after working…
Bless those divas, but first, hand your son over to one of them and step out for a second. You need to do something
The only functional gift worth bringing to a baby shower
Hello to clean clothes, hello to ten minute laundry spells, hello to a fresh smelling baby…hello to rest, hello to recuperation, and possibly, hello to going back to work earlier than expected.
They brought it. Ariel, the only detergent with THE ONE WASH promise. Soak the clothes, wash after some minutes and your laundry for the day is done.
And size does not matter! You can horde any of their 250g, 500g, 1kg, 3.5 kg detergent packs and not feel guilty for it when someone questions your life choices.
You earned it, and so did your son…but mostly, so did your husband who hasn’t seen you since the baby arrived.
The only functional gift worth bringing to a baby shower
Happy washing.

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