8 Films That Made Terrible Musicals

Posted by admin in Features Jul 17th, 2011

Broadway’s had its share of success turning major motion pictures into winning musical extravaganzas, like Hairspray or Little Shop of Horrors. But there have also been some really bad choices when it comes to adaptations, so many that it’s clear that it takes a lot more than a popular movie character to create a good musical. (Did anyone honestly need a Spider-Man musical? No.) Some of these shows ran for a while, but others were promptly slammed by audiences; some are fantasies, others are dramas. But they all have one thing in common: they never should have been made.

1. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark:

   Leaving aside for a moment the fact that "turn off the dark" is a bogus and totally nonsensical phrase, Julie Taymor’s stage adaptation of the Marvel Comics character is one of the most notorious musicals in Broadway history. At the time it was produced, it was the most expensive Broadway show ever made, as well as the one with most previews (182). The bloated production left five people injured during the rehearsal process, and Natalie Mendoza, one of the stars of the show, eventually left after suffering a concussion. It got so bad that Taymor left the production, which was retooled before its official opening.
   

2. Breakfast at Tiffany’s:

   Great novel. Classic movie. Awful musical. In 1966, producers tried to mount a stage version of Breakfast at Tiffany’s with a book by Edward Albee and music and lyrics by Bob Merrill, but the numerous rewrites and hitches meant the show was an out-of-control mess. It played a measly four preview performances before shutting down entirely, meaning it never officially opened. The preview shows often ran between three and four hours, too. The verdict was swift, and the show was gone.
   

3. Urban Cowboy:

   The 1980 film Urban Cowboy was an unlikely pop culture hit that spawned a host of ill-advised mechanical-bull riding. The problem was that the movie was totally tied to its era. The 2003 musical version took an originally gritty premise and made it slick and commercial, the equivalent of a super-size honky-tonky instead of a road house. The stage version ran for a couple dozen previews and 60 performances before shuttering in the face of withering reviews and lackluster audiences. So much for the dream of seeing "Boot Scootin’ Boogie" on Broadway.
   

4. Young Frankenstein:

   Mel Brooks has had a tricky history with Broadway. His 1968 film The Producers was turned into a smash musical in 2001, so it only made sense that a few years later he’d try to put lightning back in the bottle by adapting his classic 1974 comedy Young Frankenstein. Yet what sounded great on paper turned out to be less than stellar on stage. Critics and audiences were generally less thrilled with this one, as evidenced by the performance history: Producers ran for more than 2,500 performances, while Young Frankenstein went for only 484. This is one that no one really wanted to see.
   

5. Shrek: The Musical:

   Shrek was a modestly entertaining family hit in 2001, though the series wore out its welcome after three sequels and countless product tie-ins. The musical hit Broadway with previews in November 2008 and an opening in December, after which it ran for just over a year and 441 performances before closing. It’s not that the musical was the worst ever made, or even the worst adaptation; it’s that it was an overcooked theme park attraction masquerading as musical entertainment. It’s just boring. You’re better off with the DVD.
   

6. Cry-Baby:

   Based on John Waters’ 1990 film that parodied old-school teen musicals like Grease, Cry-Baby was a mixed bag. What made the translation of Waters’ Hairspray a success was a commitment to big, brassy production numbers and characters you could totally root for; Cry-Baby, unfortunately, had neither. The music was frantic but not energetic, and the show’s bittersweet center was a tougher sell than Hairspray‘s candy-colored activism. It was one of the worst things a show can be: mediocre. It closed in spring 2008 after 45 previews and just 68 performances.
   

7. Tarzan:

   Disney’s Tarzan was already a middle-of-the-road movie: big enough to be a financial success, but the last animated hit or quality picture Disney would release until they bought Pixar. The music and lyrics from Phil Collins were, well, pretty Phil Collinsy, and the story was equally forgettable. (Name a character besides Tarzan. It’s not possible.) Yet Disney had found Broadway success with The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast, so Tarzan took its turn on the stage. It opened on Broadway in 2006 but closed in July 2007 after 486 performances and anemic ticket sales.
   

8. Carrie:

   Bad, bad, bad idea. Awful. Stephen King’s rickety novel Carrie was turned into a pulpy film horror classic by Brian DePalma in 1976. There was no need to turn it into a Broadway musical. The stage version was plagued with production issues from the outset — songs were rewritten or deleted entirely — and the final show was met with what could charitably be called derision from critics and audiences. A story that started out rooted in horror and psychotic excess morphed into something cheesy and sad. The show opened on Broadway in May 1988 and closed three days later after only 5 official performances and 16 previews. It inspired a book, for crying out loud! It was that bad.